Things We Lost In The Fire

I wish we didn't have to over complicate love, I wish us as humans didn't have a problem with trust

Because love isn't the same love I reckoned at fifteen

Somehow it all got misconstrued when we had to start thinking rationally

When sayings like 'love doesn't pay the bills' spoke to my heart more than 'love conquers all'

We knew all too well this couldn't last

Sparks, twinkle in ones eyes and butterflies were things of the past,

these are just some of the things we lost in the fire.

Now we've got deep rooted issues pressed into our scar tissue from third degree burns from what we saw in our childhood.

The marriage and relationships that played before us, like the titanic sinking and the surplus of people drownings or freezing, far from mild it was an extreme level of mistrust and discomfort much like the feeling I get when you pry into my soul with numerous questions about my need for control.

My ability to say I love you, I desire, were just a few things we lost in the fire

The natural evolution of life is to get married and reproduce but to these kids we will introduce the horrors of doing things out of chaos and panic.

That exact feeling of choosing our first born's name was manic.

Our ability to foresee and foreshadow was wiped out by the increasing dark hollows of our hearts. Empty just how you found me, questioning my very being and in every argument screaming liar liar, these are the things we lost in the fire.

As we grew, we grew apart into deeper levels of damage control, both of us knew nothing about letting go

We thought the only mistake our parents made was their decision to separate, so we'd ignore sleepless nights due to heart ache just so our forced family wouldn't break

Or fall apart, you had a fear of heights and I had a fear of having to catch you if you fell so I'd walk around with the hardest shell and maybe we shouldn't dwell on the fact that we weren't meant for one another.

Because every storm we had we could not weather like the petrol station flowers you bought that we let wither. But we keep in the vase just in case. 'We make a conscience decision to keep it' we tell every maid that we hire, yes these are the things we lost in the fire.

Kids all grown up doing their own thing, living life off the things we thought we could bring, to the table. And every day we pray that we were able to teach them just enough so they can be tough but real life reaches everybody and there's no shelter especially when you come from a family based on running helter skelter.

The ability to stand still that is required is just the most important thing we lost in the fire