They Forgot...

A few years ago,

that’s when it all started

They would say they were worried that you were starving

And sometimes you’d cry...

Wait a second...

Why are you lying? I hear in my head.

There were endless nights of tears flooding your heart with pain.

They’d say “you’re too skinny”

but you loved the feeling.

You loved the holes in your neck and the look in your bones.

You enjoyed how they would flip everyone off.

They’d make you eat when all you wanted was to starve,

you felt in control and told countless lies.

Boys still paid you attention cuz your boobs always showed,

they even took advantage when you lost the control.

They still said they were worried, but now they seem to forget.

They don’t remember your struggle to shut that voice off.

Which voice they’d say?

Oh, the voice in your head,

The one that would ask you to count the calories

and then burn them away.

The voice that kept you awake in the middle of the night,

doing situps until you cried.

The voice that told you not to eat for a week...

they forgot the surprise when the doctor said your heart was weak.

And after years you learned to control your fear

You started to love your body just as it is.

You started to enjoy all of your meals,

even when you couldn’t see the bones on your hips.

You were finally happy

But a few years later the voices have become real.

Now they have the sound of your mom telling you not to eat so much,

And the voice of your aunt telling you to change cuz you don't look good anymore,

The voice of your dad telling you don’t fit in your pants

And the voice of your grandma telling you to eat less,

Always asking you to go to the gym and check on your weight.

They forgot how much it hurt

and now the tears have returned.

And the guilt and the thought of not being enough.

Who cares if you’re smart?

who cares if you’re pretty?

All they care is if you’re skinny...