They Don't Talk About Me.

I am not a perfect person. I have cuts down my arms and bruises down my legs, from the countless battles that til this day have no end.

You see they are the battles of my past mistakes and countless stumbles over hope. The ones who used to believe in me are the same ones who cut the rope. For the many times I failed, just as many were swept under the rug of those who I have loved. Hidden away from anyone who asked about me in the midst of a hug.

The birth givers were the first to hush, not daring to wake up the monster that lived inside. They kept their feelings locked up tight, incase they'd release and disturb the heavy vacancy they did not know about. That's the part they never tried on. They never tried to see if there was a beast, just a bunch who cried 'wolf' in the midst of my insanity. I am not one to dwell on the past, but it creeps on me like my shadow to remind me I'm trash.

For the birth givers and their spawns are against my true being, I couldn't help but wonder what they are truly seeing. Darling, I am a band book, never to be shown. I am an x-rated movie, you can only watch at home. That is the key to why I write, they do not talk about me, but make them I might.

I can make them talk about me with their other peers, because my success would be posted on every social media site. I can surround their lives with, 'how is your daughter?', because that's when they will soon realize I am doing better then ever.

I will not work to make them proud, because twenty years is too many. I have given them false hope and empty promises to their too high expectations. I can show them I am worthy of the life I brought from my dreams and inspirations.

So in a way I do work and I build for one thing from them. It's to be talked about and to be talked about in more then a hum.

People might think it's stupid, but if I failed they should know it, because the best is yet to come, I know because I grow it. My birth givers, you might keep my name in a vault in your basement, because my life isn't as perfect as the one where you fake it.

The cameras are all off, the lights have been turned down. Theres no Oprah Winfrey for you to impress now. So stop making me feel like my life is a suicide with pills, because you might not talk about me now, but I am sure you guys will.