These Tears

These Tears

These Tears

As I see these tears roll down his face

I think of how much he pretends to be strong

As I see these tears roll down his face

I think of how much words can actually hurt a person

As I see these tears roll down his face

I think of how much he loves me

As I see these tears roll down his face

I think of everything that he’s been holding on to

As I see these tears roll down his face

I think of the love that was lost

As I see these tears roll down his face

I think of the trust that could take years to gain back

As I see these tears roll down his face

I think of how much of an evil bitch I actually am

As I see these tears roll down his face

I think of how weak he is

As I see these tears roll down his face

My pride slips away from my fingertips

As I see these tears roll down his face

I think of how can I save him

But he doesn’t let me .

He doesn’t let me save him because I am the one that is killing him

He doesn’t let me save him because the actual fucking love of his life can stand before him and be emotionless

He doesn’t let me save him because he is tired of letting me and being let down

He doesn’t let me save him because I am his weakness

But instead he tells me I can have another chance

Another chance at love becomes his biggest regret

And another chance is all I wanted

Infinitely

He asks me what is wrong

And I say nothing

But yet we still are disconnected

And he tries

But the actual fucking love of his life doesn’t know how to love

As much as she says she does

As much as she can make love to him

As much as she cries from a broken heart

As much as she regrets making every single mistake

She still doesn’t know how to love

So what is love

What is love other then being happy for only hours of a day

What is love other than knowing you’re hurting your soul mate but still can’t change even when you want to

What is love when your scared of change

Scared of what your life has entailed for you

What is love other than being scared of not being in control

What the actual fuck is love .

Because you’d rather hurt him then give him the chance to hurt you first

Because you know he reacts so you tell yourself that everything he’s done , he doesn’t mean

So you come back to him happily every time

What the actual fuck is love when your souls connect but your minds don’t

But he still chooses to love you anyway

What the actual fuck Antonia

That’s love.