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The Words I Didn't Say

An Exercise in Letting Go

By Kiana LinPublished 6 years ago 5 min read
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At least a poem a day in, beginning in Autumn.

“What Do You Want to Do?“

Sudden silence

And I try to find the right answer

Because the options are limitless

The wanting is real

The hopes are fragile

The decision is imminent

I have to edit myself, be realistic

And so I play it safe

And I do want, but I do nothing

“Come Get Me.”

Not a question in word

But a question in deed

Will you or won't you

Follow through

I want you here

With me, so do it

“Are You Ready?”

I am not and yet

I am, no?

I wait and I have already begun.

I hate and I have already loved.

Do your worst, but be gentle with me.

I am, yes.

“Why Do You Make These Choices?”

I am young but once.

I am not thoughtless, reckless.

I will not regret.

“What Else?”

"There is more,"

We think.

We always think.

"How can this be the end?"

We wonder.

We always wonder.

We always expect.

We are always surprised.

We are always human.

“Why?”

You asked, and I was unsure.

For the sake of argument.

For the awakening of wonder.

For feeling.

You asked, and I replied.

For the sake of logic.

For the death of mystery.

For reason.

“How Did You Do It?”

Can you tell the difference?

Do you see the impact?

Your decisions, your actions:

I can tell you've changed,

I see the ripples.

Your encouragement,

My new beginning.

“Why Not?”

Only I can kill my potential:

My future self.

The sharpest knife:

My own doubt.

I hesitate:

And cut myself the deepest.

“What’s Wrong?”

Everything

Nothing

It's all in my head, nowhere to be seen

It's all real and in front of me

Nothing

Something

I'm making it all up, delusional

I'm watching it come true, but wishing

Something

Maybe

It's all just me

It's all because of you

“What Is This?”

What does it look like?

Feel like?

Why do you need me

To tell you about your world?

Are you so impressionable?

Swayed by my words.

If I told you it was the ocean

The desert?

Would you see waves, sandy dunes

Instead of the curl of the paper's edge?

“What Do You Believe?”

Things unseen, my heart

Belief is the difference

My soul is still sure

“Do You Remember...?”

Real innocence,

Shared laughter,

Happy dreams:

You speak of these things as if they are gone,

Fled from your life and your thoughts,

Only to return when memories are dredged in such a dreary way...

Are you so far gone that you only sometimes recall the good of the past?

Have you none to expect, to greet in the present?

“What Are You Doing?”

The dark brings magic.

What will you do with tonight?

What about tomorrow?

“What Are the Consequences?”

Choices

Subconscious

Deliberate

Intonation

Connotation

I am my own person

I will not rise to your bait

I will not answer your hate

I will be my own reason

Responses

Purposeful

Accidental

Emotional

Logical

I can be a part

I can be the love

I can rise above

I can be the heart

I can be and I am

The one that breaks

“Did You Open It?”

Joy wants to be shared

Happiness needs a friend

Knowing that somebody cared

The ripples have no end

“Are You Okay?”

Perhaps I will or

Perhaps I cannot ever be

But for now I am

“Which Are You?”

Going back and forth

I will never help anyone

Unless I choose now

“What Did You Just Say?”

You may already know

But you would rather pretend

Rather ignorance

“What Do You Think?”

Do not beg me speak

You do not want my answer

Only your own thoughts

“Is That Real?”

More permanent, more present

More so than you have been

My friend

More feeling, more action

More effort than you willingly gave

To me

More hurt, more confusion

More hope than I have ever had

For us

“What Do I Do?”

Be strong, speak your mind

It's long, the path you find

It's worthy, hold on tight

Don't worry, bring the fight

Fight on, shout and lose

When won, think and chose

Chose love, but also honesty

Rise above, grant both amnesty

Amnesty first, there may be pain

At worst, you will still gain

Be strong, speak your mind

Life's long, leave the past behind

“What Am I Supposed to Do?”

Tell me, so I don’t have to decide

On my own.

Give me direction so I’m no longer

Alone.

“What Do You Put Into the World?”

Release, take it in.

Is it better than before?

When you let it go?

“How Do You Know These Things?”

Life, experience,

In growing up we are forced

To know so much more.

“Did It Work?”

When you first began,

The choices before you, endless

Did you see it, whole?

“How Can I Help You?”

My imagination is worse

The unknown a sea, a desert.

The possibilities endless,

Until you give me direction.

Let me in.

“Are You Safe?”

Tears, once again,

But all I can ask,

All I can hope for,

Is that you are still,

Well and truly still.

Safe and sound.

“Can You...?”

A real hopefulness,

A tremulous thing, and still

There is strength in it.

“Do You Do This Often?”

Is this real to you

Or is it rehearsed, constant

Until you breathe it?

“Did You Get It?”

The understanding,

It comes regardless of want,

You simply wake up.

“Don’t Say It.”

I know it already,

You do not need to speak it.

My soul already heard.

“How Do You Feel?”

Cut me open wide

Examine my thoughts, feelings

They are all for you.

“Are You Willing to Let Go?”

Is the work worth it:

Is it all a waste to you?

Or will you hang on?

“How Can I Help?”

Tell me with your words

The things my actions can do

To bring about change.

“Are You Crying Too?”

My tears, all for you

Because pain echoes along,

Stabs my soul deeply.

“Tell Me You Didn’t?”

Of all the options,

You chose the one against you,

Wishing more for you.

surreal poetry
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About the Creator

Kiana Lin

“Potentially lovely, perpetually human.”

Christian, wife, mother, creative spirit, avid reader, expanding soul.

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