The Things I've Done

I have done things

Seen things

Heard things

I have ruined lives, or so I believe

I wronged people when we were both too young to know

I took their childhoods away as my own had been taken

And now the guilt wraps around my neck, suffocating me

I don’t even know those people anymore

Our lives don’t cross paths and I don’t suspect they ever will again

Yet their eyes, their face, and the things we did still plays in my mind like a bad movie

Every day I watch it, wondering if they will even remember

Every day I hope and pray they won’t

Every day I wait for them to come find me

It’s been years since it happened and not a word has been said

They seem happy when I hear of them and unchanged by my actions

I am just dying every day because I was wrong whether I knew it or not

I need to forgive myself for something no one remembers

But I remember

I need to forgive myself for something that didn’t hurt them

But it hurt me