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The spider died
At least I assume it died alone
I’ll never know
I found it on the carpet
At first I thought it was a bit of dried grass
Then I thought it was a seed head
Finally I realised it had drawn all of its legs in towards its centre
As I prodded it to check it was dead a single pointed leg fell free
It looked ready but unable to attack
I scooped it into the lens of the spectacles I’d removed to take a closer look
What did the world look like to you?” I wondered
And where are your friends?
Did you have a home?
Will you be missed?
Will others grieve for you?
Will they speak of your deeds, your charming manner, how you made them laugh?
Will they be sad?
Will they know?
Did you have belongings?
Is there an inheritance to be had?
I realised that all I had were questions
I dropped you into the kitchen bin
You, who I didn’t even know, now heavy on my conscience
How dare you!
You come into my home
Disguising yourself as grass
You die in my hallway
I’m feeling guilty
About disposing of your remains
That’s not you, is it?
You’re just a dead spider
I’m still alive
While you’ve shuffled off this mortal coil
I have to face this day
Full of woes
I’m tired, you’re not
I’m hungry, you’re not
I have stuff to do
You....you can get stuffed!
Except you can’t, can you?
You tiny little thing
There’s not enough of you to stuff
And yet today you are writ large within me
Connecting me with my own grief
The sense of loss that perpetually surrounds
Memories of our near and dear
Now not here
And then I get it
Half way through the year
Is my last day here too
Tomorrow I am leaving
The sanctuary of the house
That has been my home
Your end is also mine
And so we exit together
I would say hand in hand
But I couldn’t touch your spiky foot
And those questions...
Do you have a home?
Today I can say “Yes” and smile
Tomorrow I will say “No”
Which invites further questions
And the fear I had
Of my dead spider friend
Because surely we have shared
Something special today
Will become the fear
Of bidding one more
Pillar of security