The Shakes

“Fair enough, my love”

I say

He settles into bed

face relaxed

eyes peacefully closed

I look at him for a while

at least it's something to do

Eventually my eyes close as well

and roll fitfully under their lids

it's on it's way, I know it

Though it's expected

it hits me with force

and I let out a little gasp

my body becomes rigid

as I fight against the shakes

My hands wring at the collar of his shirt

I whimper

once, then silence and I'm still

then a second time and I'm writhing again

A third time and there are tears in my eyes

“Honey, what's wrong?”

I hear in the darkness

“It's nothing”

Silence

Then he turns to me

eyes still bleary from sleep

filled with a mixture of concern

and what looks like frustration

or anoyance?

Or is that just me?

“Same old thing,”

I say

and he kisses my forehead.

I roll over and now he's holding me

He kisses behind my ear

as I convulse

“Shhh,”

He says

And I know it's meant to comfort

But I just feel ashamed

and begin to shake more

He's tired

And I'm a nuisance

At some point the shakes stop

Probably twenty minutes after they started

I kiss him on the cheek

and thank him

and allow him to nod off

I turn over

and there are tears in my eyes again

Eventually

I nod off as well