The Play

Act One

Everyone is speaking out loud while I daydream in solitude, thinking about my words carefully before I said them to you.

Before I said them to anyone. I grew up hanging onto every word anyone has ever said to me, my mom calls it owning their words

I call it remembering what not to say so no one feels the way I did when those words were said to me so I guess you can say it's the same thing.

You see I have always watched my words carefully, timed them perfectly like a little imaginary script I wrote in my head for myself

And every conversation was a play that I was the main star in but no one would listen. I was just a door mat that people would walk over

Because my words were so perfect that when I said I was ok people believed it because I was so strong people could see it

And stopped bothering to ask it. But of course that was a lie but the truth was apart of the script that never made the cut.

So I would put on my make up covered smile and walk out on stage and acted out my little play and everyone would applaud and say how great I am

But when the curtain would close only the mirror saw how sad I am. I would wipe off the make up the real me would appear

Tears follow nice and clear, my words would blur through the pages as the shower would wash away all the red stained regrets

But everyday I would get up on stage and my melody of broken words and fake smiles would dance off my lips.

Act 2

But one day something changed, people started to see that the act was just that, and my make up covered words

And make up covered smile was wiped off on stage and the person I played on that stage began to disappear and the stage did too,

I guess because I noticed that the people I was putting on the play for didn't and were not gonna stay, they just bought tickets

and no lifetime passes but in my eyes they both looked the same.

10-12-17