The Pain of Loss

There is no pain so great as losing a child.

Although child-birth is a close second.

The ache you feel in your heart, like hole burning black and void.

Reaching out into the night with empty arms and tears like the rushing rivers, never ending.

Quiet and calming and yet thundering and without end.

Speaking and pleading but not being heard. Screaming and yet surrounded by silence.

Ghosts of toddler antics lingering in the empty silence, playful shadows dancing in your dreams.

Real becomes pain, dreams become unwanted reminders, hope becomes sickness all consuming.

A reminder marked in your skin by needle and ink that cannot and will not be erased.

Knowing that the distance is not so great and yet climbing the walls seems impossible.

Fighting with everything that is had, and everything that is not.

Breathing and yet not living.

Touching and yet not feeling.

Fearing and yet not running.

Waking and yet not being.

For there is no greater pain than losing a child.