The Other Side

I see them finally, not close enough that I can touch them, but not so far away that I too will lose all hope.

My hope is a necessity for us to get back to the other side. Our lives depend on my hope and I must wear it as if it were a second skin.

They don't sense me at all. Too lost in their own guilt and damnation. I have found them and I feel that half the journey is now over. I won't lose sight of them. I am not sure how much time is left. Time really has no meaning anymore.

I remember being alive. The sights and sounds and smells, using all my senses constantly. It is something the living take for granted. That's something I didn't realize I would miss. Oh, still have the use of my senses here, but they are all new to me. I have never seen the world from this vantage point. At first I was nervous, thought I would fall through the looking glass. It is the floor here, you can look down and see all that is below.

You can see all that goes on in the world from up here. It is quite a unique sensation to get used to.

The sounds around me seem to be shut out. It is like my ears are covered with ear muffs. I learned I just need to think them working and I can hear all kinds of magical things. Soft singing and laughter are the most common sounds that I hear.

Smells are amazing here, think of your favorite scent and imagine it everywhere. The smell of your favorite flower, or fresh mowed grass, the musky cologne your grandpa wore. Whatever smell makes you content, that is what you will smell. Nothing here smells bad, it can't it's just the way it is.

Not long ago time seemed to be everything. I don't want to risk not doing what I have set out to do, just in case time does matter here. I can almost hear the sand in the hour glass sliding down quickly and piling at the base.

Now that I have found them I am not sure how to pursue this quest of mine. I have no choice in the matter. I love them with every ounce in my being. Eternity without them is just too much for me to handle.

Before I died I had a feeling it would lead to this. Me having to find her so eternity could be ours together.

We all make wrong choices in life.We go left when we should have gone right. Some people though, like my daughter, just go further and further down the wrong path and forget how to get back on track. They seem to get so wrapped up in the things of the world, things that don't matter in the least when it is all over.

I wonder if I called out to her if she would run. Even more heartbreaking, would she even know who I am.

I only started to learn how things here worked. I have seen so many loved ones who arrived before me. I sat for hours it seemed with all of my Grandparents, each played such an important role in my life. I ran into old friends who got sick or had bad car accidents. It was a feeling of warmth to see so many from my life. I just couldn't find my daughter.

Asking all those I came across if they had seen her, just to hold her again. To laugh and know she was safe. I found someone who told me about the other side, where the lost end up.

That has got to be where she is, her death was by her own hands, so troubled in life. I had to go and find her. I was told how to get there, but warned that it does not always end the way those who go searching would like. Sometimes you can't find them, sometimes they don't want to leave and believe they deserve to be on the other side.

This is my quest now. I have found her and must convince her she doesn't deserve that place. She deserves to be with me in the happy eternity. In my heart of hearts I believe I can save her from herself, I have to at least try. What mother wouldn't.

I smile and slowly walk towards her. She hears me and turns around to see. I softly call out her name, my heart pounding so fast. She sees me, really sees me and she starts to cry. Oh my gosh, I don't see tears anymore where I am now. Seeing her cry seems to rip out my heart.

I walk closer to her and when I reach her I just wrap my arms around her. She continues to weep on my shoulder as I hold her. Finally she lifts her head and looks deep into my eyes, my heart and yes my soul. It's okay now my child. You have been forgiven. She smiles at this, her tears have all dried.

I reach for her hand and she grabs mine and holds on tight. I have found her, I kept my hope and faith and my love. Hand in hand she walks with me to the other side.