The Man That Dangled the Carrot
Bedtime Stories for Grown Ups
Once upon a time in a land far, far away
Went about a fair maiden, enjoying her day.
Her sister was due to be wed on this week
Hence her family and friends were away on retreat.
In these beautiful lands, the sun did shine strongly
And from across the pool, a chap looked on longingly
You see this fair maiden was the only unwed
And this handsome squire urged to take her to bed.
However,
Instead of saying “Do you fancy a nightcap?”
This chap he did sport a relationship hat
Talk of kids he did want and a woman to love
But alas! He had already someone beloved
The maiden caught up in this fun-filled adventure
Was caught blindly, and this did eventually end her
Not in the morbid way, you might all be thinking
But in the tragic affairs of a man ‘carrot dangling’
Our maiden did cometh home from away
And the gentleman took her out for the day
Fun and frolics were had and the laughter was wholesome
As the evening did enter and neither were lonesome
The bedroom beckoned as they entwined together
And every slow touch was the slight of a feather
The morning brought warmth as they slowly did wake
This had promised to be an awesome first date!
Now,
Here commenceth the decline with subsequent texts
When the squire did admit “Sorry, off are all bets!”
The hills he did run to when feelings did form
But bear no ill will — for, dear maiden, you were warned!
Deterred was the maiden forming doubts in her mind
How remarkable and sudden! Squire where is your time?
For the squire was busy with work here and there
But we all know, really, you make time if you care
The maiden vexed by another untimely offer
Did call to the fellow to ask if he’s bothered
Opportunity knocked, and this door he did need
To exit cowardly with the pretense, of a fair deed
Alas, problems had raised their foul little heads
The meddling family of hers had also caused dread
The gentleman squire was now anxious, in quandary
If this should end badly, they would not think fondly!
The maiden simply not a spiteful young creature
With understanding and kindness as her key features
Did gracefully accept, this chap was not ready
Appearing unprepared and a wee bit unsteady
Since speaking with candour — his want just for fun
Could have avoided this web of absent lies spun
As forewarned and forearmed was the maiden’s desire
Talk of play alone could’ve created a path filled with fire.
However…
The tale it doth come to a different end bitterly
The maiden’s faith becoming, well, more jit -jit-jittery
In gentleman callers who cannot reflect truly
Their instant desires, manifesting more frequently.
Though the maiden felt sad for the world that required
Opportunistic sorts, that covertly tread by
For the gentleman caller need only to say
That his interest had peaked and he must now walk away
Instead of excuses of family and time
Which is nonsense as we know through this very rhyme
Something should be learned from the story thus far
The maiden could have clarified right from the very start
Her interest was not in men who tend to juggle
Or the commitment-phobic, for they tend to be trouble
It takes one to know one, of that she’s still wrangling
Still, always beware of the man carrot dangling.
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