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The Man That Dangled the Carrot

Bedtime Stories for Grown Ups

By Nova MaddonPublished 6 years ago 2 min read
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Once upon a time in a land far, far away

Went about a fair maiden, enjoying her day.

Her sister was due to be wed on this week

Hence her family and friends were away on retreat.

In these beautiful lands, the sun did shine strongly

And from across the pool, a chap looked on longingly

You see this fair maiden was the only unwed

And this handsome squire urged to take her to bed.

However,

Instead of saying “Do you fancy a nightcap?”

This chap he did sport a relationship hat

Talk of kids he did want and a woman to love

But alas! He had already someone beloved

The maiden caught up in this fun-filled adventure

Was caught blindly, and this did eventually end her

Not in the morbid way, you might all be thinking

But in the tragic affairs of a man ‘carrot dangling’

Our maiden did cometh home from away

And the gentleman took her out for the day

Fun and frolics were had and the laughter was wholesome

As the evening did enter and neither were lonesome

The bedroom beckoned as they entwined together

And every slow touch was the slight of a feather

The morning brought warmth as they slowly did wake

This had promised to be an awesome first date!

Now,

Here commenceth the decline with subsequent texts

When the squire did admit “Sorry, off are all bets!”

The hills he did run to when feelings did form

But bear no ill will — for, dear maiden, you were warned!

Deterred was the maiden forming doubts in her mind

How remarkable and sudden! Squire where is your time?

For the squire was busy with work here and there

But we all know, really, you make time if you care

The maiden vexed by another untimely offer

Did call to the fellow to ask if he’s bothered

Opportunity knocked, and this door he did need

To exit cowardly with the pretense, of a fair deed

Alas, problems had raised their foul little heads

The meddling family of hers had also caused dread

The gentleman squire was now anxious, in quandary

If this should end badly, they would not think fondly!

The maiden simply not a spiteful young creature

With understanding and kindness as her key features

Did gracefully accept, this chap was not ready

Appearing unprepared and a wee bit unsteady

Since speaking with candour — his want just for fun

Could have avoided this web of absent lies spun

As forewarned and forearmed was the maiden’s desire

Talk of play alone could’ve created a path filled with fire.

However…

The tale it doth come to a different end bitterly

The maiden’s faith becoming, well, more jit -jit-jittery

In gentleman callers who cannot reflect truly

Their instant desires, manifesting more frequently.

Though the maiden felt sad for the world that required

Opportunistic sorts, that covertly tread by

For the gentleman caller need only to say

That his interest had peaked and he must now walk away

Instead of excuses of family and time

Which is nonsense as we know through this very rhyme

Something should be learned from the story thus far

The maiden could have clarified right from the very start

Her interest was not in men who tend to juggle

Or the commitment-phobic, for they tend to be trouble

It takes one to know one, of that she’s still wrangling

Still, always beware of the man carrot dangling.

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