The Introvert Diaries

Sometimes I feel like everyone is watching,

everywhere I go their eyes are always glued on me.

Sometimes I think they are talking about me,

whispering to each other and always laughing.

I start to feel paranoid and start get twitchy.

When I feel the chaos start to set in,

I grow frantic and start to organize everything in my reach.

This goes here and that goes there.

Perfectly spaced and in its correct place.

I pick at the paint or scratch at my skin.

Imaging people making fun of me,

I start to fall victim to the insanity taking me hostage again.

Everything has to be perfect and be in its right place.

When it comes to my stuff I seem to have a photographic memory.

Always knowing where I hid the things that help me cope

when it becomes too much.

To counter that urge I go back to organizing.

This goes here that goes there.

Everything has its most perfect place.

All lined up and in a perfect row.

Color coated and where it goes.

Move it to the right and back to the left.

Put it in the middle and put enough glue to make it stick.

Don't hang it crooked or it'll come crashing down on your head.

Hang it up perfectly or it won't line up with the bed.

It all makes me go crazy,

it all makes my brain feel hazy.

That's what it feels like inside of my head.

I feel like the real me is trapped in a cage.

I feel like the real me is wasting away.

I feel like the real me is dying till its dead.

I feel like I'm losing my mind with all the chaos going on inside my head.

I feel like one thing out of place can make my world crumble.

I feel like without things descending in size I will explode.

I feel like most of these things are imaginary.

I feel like these worries are all in my head.

Maybe I'm crazy,

or maybe it's just my O.C.D.