The Hurt

Why do I feel so lonely?

These days just keep sliding on by me.

I have no one to talk to, no one to hang out with, no one that will listen to me.

I feel like I’m screaming at the top of my lungs, crying, and no one knows.

Is it bad that I can’t remember a day that I haven’t cried?

What’s my reason to even try anymore?

I’m always stuck doing what people want me to do, but do I even know what I want to do?

I know I want to get out of the god forsaken house.

I know I want to get out of this town for at least a day.

I know I want someone to listen to my feelings.

I know I don’t want to do this anymore.

I know I can’t live like this.

I need to find my reason, because if not, then I’m worthless, a waste of space, a waste of life.

Everyone would feel horrible, if I did ever you know, but they won’t realize why. They wouldn’t take blame.

They would just say I was a happy, outgoing person, but am I?

Does a happy person feel this way?

Does an outgoing person stay in the house, lonely all the time?

All of them will not pay enough attention to me to even see. Not even my own parents, they just see what I’m not doing, what I’m messing up on, and what I could do for them.

My friends? Ha! What friends?

My own boyfriend? He don’t understand. I’m telling him but he can’t read between the lines. He wants me to “talk” to him but how can someone talk about wanting to end it?

Everyone has their own problems. Is that why nobody will help me with mine? Am I supposed to do this by myself? How can I talk it out to myself?

How can I help myself not feel like this?

My heart just keeps hurting.