My reflection reminds me where I am
Who I am
And how the two do not belong together
The flies in the yard remind me of the tabanos
The salamanders remind me of the gators
Except
less meaningful, less unknown, less exciting, less life-like
I miss the silence of the mountains
The whispers of the Everglades
I miss when the loudest noise was the buzz of the Tabanos
But now they seem so quiet
Compared to the noises on the T.V.
I miss the trail’s slow but certain progress
I miss watching the trees cheer us on as we passed
Here, I move constantly
To the bank, to school, to work, to the store
But always sleep in the same bed
I miss the high of high fiving one of my top five people on top of the highest point east of the Mississippi
I miss my crew
I miss living in and on the water
I miss how it made life so clear, so close
And not so lifeless
It is enough to make me envy these insects I despise
The Tabanos never have to come down
Sometimes I wish I never went up
Never battled the Tabanos as they buzzed so sinisterly sweet
Circling, circling, circling
I wish I never saw the clouds so clearly from above
I wish I never saw how much they resembled an ocean
Full of feathered fish
Because when you have been that high
Everything else starts to feel so low
And when you share that with an absent family
Everything else starts to feel solo
About the Creator
Carter Ward
A documentary of my individual experience of life.
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