The Documentation of Heartbreak
Step One, Step Two and Step Three
Step 1: Sadness
I used my tears to paint watercolour pictures of
together we made a house and now I'm homeless.
I loved the way his hazel eyes looked at me.
Now crumbling brick walls cover my heart defensively.
The promises I'd hoped you’d keep are now broken
I should have ran and maybe I would be so I wouldn’t be shaken.
His heart didn’t fall for mine even though I tried with all my might.
He was exactly the poem I wanted to write
It was 3 am and it took everything not to call you
I hope you know that I almost did
Step 2 — Anger
I think about you and the word fuck in a close association
I will never fucking treat people the way you do
I will treat them with the fucking respect they deserve
I hope your chest aches every time you fucking kiss her
I want my voice in your fucking head to overtake
I want to be your biggest heartbreak.
I hope you can’t fall can’t fucking fall asleep cause I’m not there
I won’t answer your fucking phone calls.
I hope you know the person that loved you fucking hates you
I wish my words could hurt you more than these words do
I knew when you see me you’ll do a fucking retake
I want to be your biggest mistake.
Step 3: Recovery
Maybe I should stop going out and drinking until I can’t see straight
because people are beginning to notice. But I’d rather be numb than to lay awake
in bed unable to switch off my thoughts at 1:17 am thinking of you and your mouth,
the mouth that used to kiss my lips now touching someone else’s skin.
You fell apart with a damaged heart, breaking another won’t mend it.
Maybe I should stop pushing thoughts of you away into the deepest parts of my mind
because it’s beginning to destroy me from the inside. But I’d rather lose my sanity
than to think you’d not been so lonely when all I was doing was thinking of you.
This poem isn’t beautiful, it’s my petition. I refuse to be your masterpiece.
You broke my heart, and I'm breaking trying to mend making you whole.
Comments
There are no comments for this story
Be the first to respond and start the conversation.