The Day I Wanted to Go
Suicide Awareness Day
The day I wanted to leave
It was a day much like the rest
I woke, showered and worked
Nothing seemed out of the normal
It was upon returning home
I felt a cloud looming over my head
The darkness encampturing
This storm of irrational thoughts
I had nowhere to run and nowhere to hide
My head was pounding this agonizing pain
My body ached with wounds
My eyes soaked with tears
Yet my heart was numb
I felt nothing.
I laid in bed and let the tears puddle the sheets
Laying naked I felt the weight of the world on my body
My lips trembled in fear
And my mind was being taken over by the devil
I began plotting how I would go
How I would rest by the beach
Fall asleep to the sound of waves
The peace of the ocean raising me up to the gates
I started wondering what I would tell everyone
How I would make my escape?
Who would be the one to find me?
What questions would be asked?
Who would be blamed? Me?
My brain taunted me to get on with it
To end the suffering that I longed to end
Yet something tugged back
What once felt numb, was now fighting for me
My friends, family, my partner
They would find me weak
Find me selfish,
“How could she do this?”
This was something I could never be known as
I want to be brave, strong and kind
Not weak, not selfish, not cowardly
I wanted to be alive.
About the Creator
Devon Ramwell
Just a hobbit hiding in society.
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