The Cycle of Writer’s Life

How do you take every moment from your life, every moment from every day, throw it all into a pile, and then create a conclusion to be shared? Cause that really what I wanna do.

Every time I write, I want to create conclusions.

I want to take that pile, every little ounce of life, every feeling and ache and sparkle, and I want to say, “here world, this is what it all has felt like. This is the feeling of life.”

But how would one even go about doing something so big?

How much is to be shared, how much stays hidden? Where’s the right consistency? Does it take practice or is it a gifting that turns memories into flames? Into lessons? Into stories?

There are moments where I feel life slipping through my skin, greeting my muscles and bones, cleansing or breaking my soul, and then somehow, each moment gets sewn into my story, my forever history, to live on as a memory.

I’ve felt the new and the old, I’ve learned lessons, watched growth. I’ve lived in and lived through the life I’ve received, but then comes some crazy ache to teach and dare.

I crave the need to turn these lessons into words, to bring boldness and defiance. To write is to bring healing and release... and a call to somehow live more.

But then the words...

How to do it best: prose, poem, song, verse, tears, screams?

Is there true purpose in the pages, or is this my own jealousy for greater life?

Can there even be a true conclusion or final lesson? Is this writing a call to forever feel and heal and teach of every part of every color of every goddamn wind? Cause it sure feels like that.

I don’t think there’s enough time.

Even when I’m constantly writing, I’m constantly living more, and thus adding to the life I’ve lived.

The next generation will write better.

The next generation will live better.

The next generation will have bigger heads with bigger brains and hopefully some bigger hearts for bigger feels.

May there never be a conclusion, even though we ache for one.

May we always be called to better, and higher, and greater, even through the growing pains.

More. May we always experience more.