The Binding of Toxic Love

You saw the way I smiled at you as you looked at me, but never the way I flinched when I could hear the anger in your voice.

You gave me the wounds that I'm forced to carry deep inside that nobody can see.

The heavy feeling I have on my heart when I wake up in the morning, the trouble to breathe when I hear your name.

And darling, your smile is the worse, so manipulating, how can something be so beautiful but yet so cruel with the words you say to me.

I'm aching deep inside, with the bruises you left on soul, slowly tearin' me apart.

And though you have treated me like a sorry peasant, I am not a slave. I am free, but will always be reminded by your torture from the bruises and scars within.

I listen silently to the whispers of the wind. I try to think, but my thoughts remain to race so fast. Why do I feel so dead inside when I'm surrounded by a world so alive.

I can feel my heart slowly beating, but I no longer feel alive. I'm paralyzed, by the memories you left me deep inside. I'm gasping for air, slowly falling apart, you took the phrase "taking my breath away" way to far.

You ripped the life right out of me, sucking every bit of happiness from my soul. Why do you do this to me, you said you loved me, but darling this isn't love.

I'm scared, I don't know what do I do. I want to run, but the haunting words you left me are holding me down. Repeating in my thoughts, tearing me open from the inside and out. I'm left alone, paralyzed from your deadly words, and you're no where to be found.

But oh, Your words, they hit me like razor blades.

Cutting me open with every breath I take.

I know I should I leave, but something keeps holding me back. I tell myself that it's going be okay, that you don't mean the awful words you say. But you're like a loaded gun with a constant hand on the trigger. You say "it slipped", but darling you keep aiming right at my heart. These words, they kill me a little bit each time inside. I'm slipping and you're no where to be found. This is it, there is no recovery now.

When the darkness falls, oh darling, I won't be there. But don't shed tears my dear, because I will still will always be there. I will become one with the midnight sky, I'll be the whispers of the wind. Forever by your side, at spirt and at heart, there for I'm am bind to you, my heart can't let go. The beatings, the words, you left me weak but my heart could never let go. Why do I do this to myself, how can the heart heal when its destroying itself, eating me alive. I'm haunted, but yet so in love. I want to hate you, for all the awful things you do to me but yet I always find myself running back to you. I'm so afraid, and the irony not letting go as if I'm mouse heading to a trap know it will hurt me. I can't stop, oh please make it stop. I wish I never fell upon those eyes that brainwashed my soul. I wish I never woken after all you did that left me dead inside. Maybe once then, my chains of this toxic love with be set free. No more pain, no more suffering, just my soul gliding softly dirty wind.