That's Just Not How This Works

this world is cruel, but you will always be more sinister. the way you acted towards me and lured me in, youre ruthless, and i was desperate.

you walk by me on the streets and pretend that i dont even exist. pretending that we hadnt spent endless nights talking about our hopes and dreams, our fears and revelations. pretending that i hadnt told you my deppest darkest secrets, like the way he laid his hands on me and told me to shut my mouth, how he forced himself on top of me and put that metallic lock-like over my lips and sealed them like a vault. you told me that night as i cried into your lap that i could trust you forever. god was i foolish.

i cannot even express how confused i am that you can stare into my brown eyes as you grace by me and feel absolutely nothing. you told me things youve never even thought about bawling your pretty eyes out, completely stoned out of your mind. but perhaps i should be more careful with my gentle heart or maybe one day youll get what you deserve. maybe one day youll finally understand the torture you put me through playing with my heart like a puppet.

maybe youll apologise for all the bittersweet words you spoke from your silver-tongued mouth. those words were sharp like knives my darling but my skin is so thick now from dealing with the weathered days that no matter what you will say, you will never cut me. my heart may always have a soft spot for you, but every torturous day of you walking past me oblivious to the pain youve caused, the nights ive cried away, and the times ive laid there in utter silence hoping for a break, a breath, that soft spot gets smaller and smaller. so keep trying to violate my sheltered body, to destroy my guarded walls. because honey, thats just not how this works.