Tell the Truth

Why can't I say no? I don’t want to, however everything else is saying yes.

I feel we are distant when we are apart, but when we are together it's like joy overflowing. Oh, I love this feeling.

We connect, your hand touches my skin, glides like a figure skater on ice. I feel everything I want to feel.

You gave me something, ruined my life, and then I told you don’t say sorry, don’t be sad, we can move on from this and be stronger than ever.

Here I am waiting for you, a minute goes by, I wait, 30 minutes go by, I wait. Oh no, it's been an hour, I wait, what is happening! The clock keeps moving. Am I crazy? Or is it because you're lying?

I don't know how to trust, and you're not helping. It's been a whole day, am I only the last thought and not your first? You are running through my mind every second, every minute, every day.

Why can't you feel the same...? I am crying, there hasn’t been an answer, I fake it, I'm okay.

I say "what's up?" Nothing... an hour later, "just playing video games?" But were you, "were you JUST playing video games?"

I'm scared, what is this feeling. I fake it, again, I fake it, I don't want to scare him away, I don't want him not to reply.

We meet up, I confront him, he says "I just suck at texting babe," that’s not it... you were ignoring me. I saw the post, I saw your likes, no, no I tell myself "you're being a paranoid girlfriend, you're imagining this stupid play."

There it goes another day without texting, he's with the boys. I'm in pain, he doesn't ask "if I feel okay."

Don't say anything, you'll scare him away. Where is he? OUCH it hurts... he should be right there next to you, he knows he ruined your life, but sorry doesn’t fix it. "I'm sorry, I'm mad at myself." I'M SORRY DOESN’T FIX IT.

Be there for me, where are you? I'm too afraid to speak up. Tell him, tell him, my conscious keeps picking at me, HE DOESN’T WANT TO HEAR IT.

SPEAK UP, there's just silence.