Sufferings First

Always been told

I was a problem, problematic,

Bipolar, schizophrenia,

Rushing through my family

Genes.

Looking for hope

In the eye of a sinner,

Yet I still speak.

Everyone expecting

Me to spit a couple

Verses from the bible,

Breathing

Praying my future

Children's childhood

With be under the Lord's

Protection

Built-in tragedy,

Pimping out the verses

I could never speak.

Marking off my sufferings

Like carbonated walls.

Running for my sins

To be cleansed, with

The scars of survivor

To show like trophies.

Got the holy ghost

Watching over me.

Hands in pray to Lady

Guadalupe, becoming

Lady fatality.

Ignoring the pictures

You placed inside of me

Like a slap to reality.

Giving my hand to god,

My feet to the devil.

Crown of flowers empowering

Me like sex but I'm still virgin.

Buried six-feet in the ground,

Detoxing my mind of the devil's

Wonderland drugs.

Vodka in the hand of the queen,

Tarot cards in the mouth of the king,

Prays in the heart of the prince,

Pain in the soul of princess.

Carrying pain the soul in a future

Queen, so what do I carry?

Got Jesus in my heart

And the devil at my feet.

Wearing a heavy head,

With a sinner's crown.