Struggling Through My Life with No Regrets

Wait I don’t know what to say. Wait I don’t how to say it, wait... wait... when I was 12 years old, only twelve, I was offered to have sex for money with some men but told not to snitch. That’s when it all began.

I had a shape more like 18 but I was a baby who knew nothing about brutality.

Went to school shook out my skin,

about this man who once told me to bend.

I couldn’t stop thinking I couldn’t stop shaking,

a panic attack was awakening.

I had to tell and there was no thinking about it.

I had therapy and he got in trouble

but that wasn’t the end it began another struggle.

At 17 we had to move because they were selling the property.

We had a month then a week and my mom didn’t have that kind of money!

Next thing you know we on the streets we were all struggling from house to house. I knew this couldn’t be true.

A high school junior at Maplewood and my grades were slacking too.

I had a wreck, the hood flew up while I was driving to save who?

My mom got into a fight with her brother and left that house she didn't know what else to do.

She received a social security check.

It wasn’t enough my dad was bad and tough on the block selling everything you can puff.

I turned 18 and it all was the same DECA in school was the only thing that keep me sane.

Before the DECA trip my granny had surgery on her brain.

To be specific, an aneurysm that would have taken her away.

She missed me walk across the stage.

She missed the accomplishments I made.

She was still in rehab trying to recover from her brain.

Her whole left side went blank.

But wait it aint over let me tell you about this struggle.

August was here.

It was the beginning of my biggest fear!

Grandad passed and my granny passed 5 days from him.

They were great, my granny was in rehab couldn't move to even see them.

August 23 through the 28th was heartbreaking to hear.

I had to start class.

Granny didn’t know her husband had passed.

She felt it and was ready to go at last.

Crying and praying by her side.

I would have never thought it was coming in a blink of an eye.

I understood she was ready and tired.

I almost gave up, all I could do was cry.

I asked God why?

Don’t do it please granny try.

She had been through alot and you could tell she was tired.

Laying in the hospice bed peacefully ready to die.

I had to realize that it was her time.

Lord thank you for my strength because without you I would be gone.

I’m trying to hold on.

I’m the strongest young lady of them all. Lord forgive me for my sins before we all fall.

- Kenshae Westmoreland / I own copy rights to my own work.

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