Stranger to My Skin (Pt. 1)

Break free from this overrated syndrome

The remedy I've been is not the remedy I need

Broken down internally from a past life's karma

A debt I know for certain that has been paid

Chakra system charged and already realigned

Reimagined for a taking of tomorrow's renewal

Far to much energy goes towards waste; fear

Self affliction fuels more self depreciation

I've chosen to let go of some ghostly baggage

Leaving it in the lost and found without claim

To see beyond the thoughts that hollow me out

And fill the void within this something saved

A mending of air and water that's forth coming

Time being a weapon in a war for better health

Simply the throw back to my mental melodies

Flowing free throughout that old electric feel

Transparent in density while still hard in force

Sweet dreams are made of these feelings of ill

There isn't anything as real as one's perception

So a shift in default setting is definitely in order

One pep talk from higher self; a forwarded walk

Tripping is part of learning how to pick up

All that's done can't be undone nor overwrote

This is the curse of our present time being now

Only more time not yet spent by your present

Never being above this moment in time here

I'll find solid ground and stand up as I should

Not allowing the night's dark to consume me

For I have become something strange entirely

Stranger to my skin, a loose but comfortable fit

In the effort over forgetting a sickly melancholy

This depression I've stayed in since early youth

Days back when all I wanted to do was swing

Recess time could never come soon enough

For my heart used that swing set to set me free

To sing whatever songs my mind could think of

I build on putting gained experience into action

To be swift in my movement and foresight

Like a next level player having fine tuned skills

Graceful in approach yet fierce in the delivery

Unfamiliar; foreign is the tomorrow sun rise

As it grants permission for more unknowing

Yielding royals for a forging of something pure

Something more instinctively true to its' nature

Bearing the likeness in a creature-esk beauty

Only remembered for a long lasting impression

Then labeled as is for another's understanding

Never truly being seen for the creature within

Until given the chance to reveal his true form

Before all can become a working utilized reality

I'll have to stick to my word and take the reigns

Get off the couch and turn off the television

Step out of my comfort zone and face today

Come out of myself enough to be more vocal

Allow the freedom to release myself from guilt

To relinquish this outdated idea of self worth

And embrace the clean slate of a renewal felt

All this takes time for mastery, the art of usage

Having a lack of patience as I hate any waiting

Temperance will be what gets me through this

That and an overall increase in self motivation

For I'd rather lay in my misery instead of move

As some days carries more weight than before

Still no excuse when it comes to my survival

A need to replace this mind with a new look

So now I work towards transformation in truths

A fire of soul which embodies strength and virtue

Bright in shine, as like the star our sun truly is

Seen from far galaxies as a small-scale twinkle

Not sure in the size exact for the distance

Sharing a similar view; how we see their suns

Wondering if still emitting life light years away

Or if it's just a burned out after glow of history

This just might be another daydream dreamt

Over thought imaginaries which softly breathe

Subconscious leakage, seeming in its mortality

A belief in make shift schemes of pretend

The overdosing of wishful thinking in a wanting

My loss of grip on what has proof of existence

Giving power to things that lack real live touch

Maybe this time it'll have a more solid base

Well, whatever may come is what I make of it

My future is mine to mold; mine to draw design

As I shed this layer of powerlessness I've worn

Finally conquer these insecurities that paralyze

Out grow this fossilized victimization I've been

Give form to this force that has only frenzied

Take control over the meaning behind human

And become the first version of this something strange