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over and over again, my soul cannot seem to recall what it was like when you were my world. you are everything and nothing; these drastic extremes were once home to my every thought and emotion. you put a new definition on what most consider an addiction. they say the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem, but what if i was aware of this fact from the beginning? what if it was, in fact, the knowledge of horrendous possibilities and shortcomings that drew me in and enticed me since day one? it seems that my best bet these days is to try to create a brand new world that revolves around you and the unavoidable chemical reaction that is our every single interaction. i am attracted to your poison that has a favorite costume of a medicine. the way you rock that disguise makes me your forever freak; fatally falling with nothing but those old ghosts to catch me… and they are not nearly as reliable as they once were. and still, still, i wait for you to allow me the time of night, because giving me the time of day gives way to exotic light that we avoid in that midnight embrace. i don’t dare tell you these things anymore though, as that intimacy died along with my vulnerability that i sold to the highest bidder. my ball rolls in your court…