Son-shine

dear son,

every single part of me loves you.

i have to be honest and tell you i wasn't ready for you, you wasn't planned.

but one thing you were was loved, from the first day i learned i was going to be a mother.

even now i watch you playing with your loudest toy and i stare at you without you even realising, i think about how lucky i am to have you, how beautiful you are even when you scrunch up your little nose and blow snot everywhere, cute.

you taught me how to love someone, even a little person like you.

you've recently learned how to sit up and there is nothing but determination on your face whilst trying to keep your balance, and you did it.

your morning face is my favourite, those sleepy eyes and that messy hair and that beaming smile when you see me reach over to pick you up, i love that.

your dad and i don't get along very well, but that's ok because not everyone has a mummy and a daddy, you'll learn that when you're older.

you're so demanding it kills me sometimes, i want to kill you sometimes.

but that's ok too, because little people like you rely on mummies like me.

i adore you.

you're so small and smart and i'm proud of you.

son, what would i be doing without you? probably making a whole load of mistakes.

you are and will always be my biggest achievement and i can't wait for you to grow into the perfect man, i'll teach you how to be one of those.

the hardest decision i ever had to make was you.

can i be the best mum in the world? doubt it, but i'll try.

can i give you the world? doubt it, but i'll try.

can i support, love and protect you? yes, and i will.

you baby, you are my most prize possession.

mum x