Sometimes

Sometimes

Sometimes, I feel like I smother people.

Like I bother them too much.

Get on their nerves.

Push them farther away from me.

I don't mean to do that.

But sometimes, it just happens.

Sometimes, I get really down on myself.

Beat myself up over the littlest things.

Emotionally and mentally breaking myself down.

To the point of me just wanting to crash from exhaustion.

Its not like I am purposely doing it, I dont like it.

But sometimes, I just dont know how to keep myself strong.

Sometimes, I get really emotional.

Like so emotional that I'll cry for the smallest reasons.

Or get mad over the most stupid things.

I'll feel like everything is my fault somehow.

Even if i had nothing to do with it.

But thats because sometimes, I just dont know how to hold back the tears.

Lately though, I've realized some things about myself.

Sometimes, I want to talk and be around people all the time,

Because then at least those people know they mean something to me.

Sometimes, I break myself down emotionally and mentally,

Because I know I am one of the absolute strongest people there is.

And sometimes, I get really super emotional and teary eyed,

Because its not healthy to keep emotions bottled up.

Not sometimes, not every now and then,

But all the time, I am me.

And quite frankly,

Thats all I ever want to be.