Solace of My Solitude

Tears on my soul

solace of my solitude.

Yet I like it.

Even if it hurts. Or maybe because it hurts.

And I need it.

I need to remember who I was

and how things were:

How you used to smile at me

And laugh, laugh until sunrise.

I need my memory

To see our happiness

Caught between the night

As we lay by the fire.

It was what it was

And it is what it is.

I can't rewind it

Yet the wind brings it back

As my spirit grows old.

The first emotion

Has now been felt more than once

And does not possess the same force and clarity.

Hence, your smile is trapped in time

and my soul disrupted

as an old tree long left unwatered.

My lungs are now empty

for the hours spent screaming

at Time, leaving me behind.

I touch the smoke around me

coloured by the purple sunset

when us, running in the fields

as the rain finds his way,

used to love life

more than ourselves.

We were young,

Unconscious minds led by infinite desire

of making our existence unique.

But now, led by experience,

we're only memories

and memories we'll be

until the we drown in the night

waiting for the same feeling

that we once felt with such passion.

Tell me, my old self, about the last time

You were sincere to your being

and you promptly looked away

As you realised your fate.

You grow up once and once only.

but now let me go back

To the fire and the fields

That changed me ever since

I saw your eyes loving me

As if I was the only human being around.

Let me feel the pain

Let me burst out in tears

But let me remember only once more

That life is worth living

Because the next sunset

Will not be as the last one you loved.