Sober and Drunken Memories

I remember waking up

To mother's screams and cries.

I creeped out into the hallway

Your drunken hand was raised ready to swing again.

The bruises already on her body must not have been enough for your satisfaction.

You saw me peaking out my bedroom.

You lowered your hand to your waste.

You ripped your belt off wrapping the end around your hand for a better grip.

I slammed my door and locked it before you could get me.

You beat the door, almost beating it down until you finally left me alone.

You grabbed your keys, and left.

I looked out the window as you walked to the car.

You stumbled on and off the sidewalk the whole way to the car.

You were too drunk to care.

About anything.

You were gone.

The voicemail the next day left my mom speechless.

She dropped the phone.

"What's wrong Mom?" I ask her repeatedly.

No answer.

Tears fill her eyes.

She's still speechless.

Then finally,

A break in her silence as she glared at me.

"You did this."

I'm confused.

What did I do?

"You made him leave!"

Her voice gets louder and louder.

"YOU MADE HIM LEAVE!"

She walks past me and swings at me.

A hit to the face for something that I'm not understanding.

"All you had to do was stay in bed and mind your own business!"

She slams her bedroom door.

I replay the voicemail.

Tears filled my eyes.

I might have been only 8, but I knew everything that was going on now.

The sober memories of you clouded my head as tears fell like a running faucet from my eyes.

A few days later at your funeral, your mom was in tears.

Your dad said he knew it would happen sooner or later.

"Why did he have to be so stupid? He knows not to drive drunk." Your brother cried.

I walk up to the casket.

The morticians tried to cover up the cuts from the shattering windshield but they weren't fooling anybody.

You might had made mistakes when you were drunk, but you were still my dad.

I still loved you unconditionally.

But, now all thats left to love now are your sober and drunken memories.