i’m waiting for something, i think.
smoke pushes against my skin
like a balloon rising above gray
clouds. but with that glazed eye,
i fear i’m losing my fear.
fear of failure, fear
of forgetting
the person i need
to be.
i need to be
good. i fear i am no good.
good.
it's good to be afraid.
afraid means alive.
afraid means pushed
to run, to keep your eyes
open, to change.
...
most the time i want to be
safe. as the smoke nuzzles
into my lungs i feel
peace and freedom and
that is not good because
i am not at peace. i am not free.
i am anxious but pretend i'm not,
i am sad and it sends me in circles
between falling deeper in the flames
and looking up to heaven longingly.
i'm afraid and that's probably
the best thing i can be.
About the Creator
Hannah Pat
Curry College '21 Communication Major, English Minor.
Words are the greatest tool and weapon.
Trying to save up money for study abroad— any little bit helps!
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