Smoke Break

I open a fresh carton of Newports and place one in between my teeth,

Pulling out my lighter to spark the end.

The cool drag of the smoke slides down into my lungs,

As the menthol keeps a cool mint taste on my lips.

I feel a burst of energy through my veins only for a second,

I lift my fingers to my lips for another,

Puff.

Puff.

Puff.

The absence of another keeps my bones cold and my mind colder.

I begin to travel into memories of warmer days.

The sun begins to shine onto my mind,

I think of the features of you I’ve come to remember,

Tracing every unique curvature of your face in my mind.

How captivated I am by the galaxy within your gaze,

As if the stars have taken refuge in your pupils.

Yet somehow we are still larger than the entirety of the solar system.

I’ve never seen someone so connected with the sky.

Combining the two most breathtaking sights into one,

painting the most inspirational art I’ve ever experienced.

You are a mosaic in my mind,

A forever twisting kaleidoscope,

A palette of every imaginable color,

The rosy embers of your cheeks,

The golden brown of your hair that falls ever so perfectly,

The depth of the indigo sea in your stare,

And your voice that speaks in midnight purples,

Calming me to the core.

But the moment you begin to sing, the colors begin to brighten.

The darkness of you became more than a void.

Your voice swirls around the room, mixing every art form into one.

You are art in its purest form.

You are the mural I’ve been searching for,

The inspiration for the words I will write,

The motivation for my brush to dance across my canvas.

You are my masterpiece.

Puff.

Puff.

Puff.

I throw the butt of the cigarette to the ground and stomp it out.

My bones are cold again, you are not here.

I then, in that moment, realize I am not addicted to the nicotine,

I am addicted to the places it takes me.

How it takes me back into your arms.

I am addicted to you.