... Shhh

InureMuse is writing...

24 October at 20:33 ·

worry about #mankind

brotherl

factitious enough to refer to himself

as doubly-wise.

And still on a #steady #decline,

a swift demise

of ashes and waste

Minister, puppet-leaders claim this is not the case

but quick to claim clearance, top secret , or treason when the truth is about face

Hierarchy misinterpretations and Lazarus claims;

Dawn of #Apocalypse lifting of #veil

while the rest hide in shame and #refuse to kiss and tell.

There is no #heaven and neither a #hell

the reality we create, be it love or be it hate, is in our minds,

and what we project, thus becomes the realm of others, in kind.

So what does this mean, pray tell?

It means, Mr Smith, in the Matrix was right when he said, "we are a virus"

We can't deny this ...

Mistake ignorance for bliss

we do not adapt but consume, until we destroy our host;

the results amiss

And what bugs me the most?

We are #confused, #ignorant-#ass #beings who

refuse to #accept what is

and continue to boast.

#Masons or #Isis

Whose #eye really is this

#Pyramids #commandments

#bookofthedead

#Anja'slocated in the of the center head

That #energy is the beginning and never the end

That there are beings of another kind

Beyond the galaxy bend

Yet still... the world, insists, that we can heal with poison, instead of our minds

That it's right to hate people; and it's wrong to love

And pin #propaganda, simply to deny the above.

Pimping #Politicians, statues and laws

Raping us of our basic freedoms...

Designed to suppress the "pawns" beneath #tyrannical claws

Lay about face rear up poised on knees porcelain-lipped dolls

And will openly g*ng bang the #lies, #media, #slop like #balls.

We are the wires, the slaves on call,

disguised as #patriotism, or some #media atrocity like the rest of them all

we are the tools.

Bethlehem #wise men

Or Sully #sheep #fools

We are the #spokes or we are the wheel.

We are the sole or are we the heel.

Forever in stasis; #unplugged and #revealed

A world under water; or #awakened and #healed?

Today at 7:15 AM

so then heal it...

To be honest I just wanna hold you...

I miss what u feel like

Today at 7:15 AM

...anytime I had your arms around me and shit ..it felt like home

like nothing could f*ck with me there...

Today at 7:16 AM

...it is home

Today at 7:18 AM

...better your "Wallz" than the walls I put around myself, right?

Today at 7:21 AM

💪

Today at 7:27 AM

... I have no idea what the emoji means

Today at 7:30 AM

😟

Today at 7:30 AM

... like wtf does that mean?

Today at 7:30 AM

Made me feel like I was your protector for a sec there...

Today at 7:31 AM

... you are

Today at 7:31 AM

Sucked the air right out of that balloon 😂

Today at 7:31 AM

you were in my previous life

... I'm not kidding

Today at 7:31 AM

... it's how I feel when I'm around you...it's weird

Today at 7:32 AM

humans don't make me feel like that ... I think that's why I try so hard to run from you... especially when you say things like "fuck this", or me say harsh s!*t to you... to me it's scary because that feeling I don't know if you know it ... but that feeling is so f*cking intense it's like ...acid meets cocaine ... some kind of purple rain... and it's so good but terrifying all the same because you don't wanna have a high like that...then *poof* and it's gone again ...

Today at 7:35 AM

...do you have any idea what's like to literally crave someone... like a drug... to want them ...that...badly... not just to f*ck I mean to have... for yourself .... to want to praise something so intimately as if one would a God... (do you honestly know what it's like to adore someone ...like that. That's more than something as primitive as love don't you think. It's a fact...

Today at 7:40 AM

... what I feel for you is more

Today at 7:42 AM

...more than words

Today at 7:46 AM

I just feel so discouraged when I get so close to trusting you...showing you, how much I adore you, and you push away or reject me ... I get even more upset with myself when I do the same thing back... I keep thinking you're going to hurt me... make me pay for all the people who hurt you... I know I shouldn't think like that because I know you wouldn't do that but all your sketchy actions and stand off-sh behavior remind me of all the stuff I've seen peeps do to me before ... and I start thinking stupid shit, like that...

Today at 7:52 AM

... I don't know... I can't prove I love you... in fact I'm almost certain I can't prove anything with just words...

....but I can show you

Today at 7:56 AM

One thing you need to learn about me is that the Loyalty in my soul is everything to me and it's how I keep getting fucked over. But I would never ever just hurt somebody or do something shady to someone that I thought respected me for no reason. It's not in me and I never would ever do that. But I turn to a cold Soldier when I feel like I'm being disrespected and I guess that's my fault because sometimes I feel like you're disrespecting me so I just say shady things...because, i'll admit, you get to me... but you know as well as I do... I don't mean it.

Today at 10:17 AM

...I only know what I see...the world is my teacher...everyday a new lesson, for me... I go by everything you do... and the things I see... I watch closely... I've been watching closely for a while now... I say the things I do because I feel like you're lying to me...(like the rest of the world) I feel like I'm like a clown to this world...

And a silly muse for you... a silly one-night-stand... because that's how you treat me and that's how I feel... it's true... you hide the fact that I exist ...you deny that you were ever my love ... you don't show interest in who I am as a person at all... we don't talk about the shit on our minds ... if we even talk often at all ... we don't even have a friendship ... it's like we're acquaintances... I don't know... I guess in my mind when I want someone... I mean really, want them... I count them... I take them on a date, like ... somewhere they've mentioned to me (in conversation) ... or have a picnic in the park... or maybe blunts on the beach...do something special... I would call or text that person every day because I can't wait to see their messages... or hear the sound their voice.

I'd remind them every day I loved them by doing things for them... like, write a piece about them since I write... or create an artwork that featured their image...

In my mind "interest," like... or even "love" is something you show... always (even when you get the cold shoulder...) that s!*t is unconditional...

Today at 5:55 PM

...You know it's funny... I don't think I've ever experienced "true love" ever....maybe that's why I desperately look for it in all the people (who are incapable of giving it).... hoping to find it... it's almost like I need to prove to myself it exists (and I can make people love) because I'm convinced it doesn't.... people have no idea, at all what it means to truly love someone....nor do they know how to show it.... and I think that's what upsets me the most with everyone I've chosen to love... hard....and whom never loved me back... When you get time... Look up the 'word' Inure.... my name isn't just a cool epitaph it's the reason why I'm f!*ked, I'm sure...

... I grew up without genuine love... hugs... that shit was seen as a weakness in my household... in fact, I saw how my own father used the fact she loved him to destroy her... from a very young age, I was taught love was a f*cking game... I heard my father tell my mom he loved her all the time and I watched him when he babysat f*ck someone else... just the same...

didn't help much when I grew up and every person I dated or got close to did the same things...

...

Me letting you in ...choosing to bond with you back then was me choosing to trust my gut ... love you despite the fact I knew it was going to hurt ... but I took a took a chance ... I leapt off that cliff hoping you would catch me and instead I went hurtling towards the earth .....

And broke into a million pieces instead.

Because you're not sure how to love somebody like me... sharp edges... broken pieces... "intense" all the things you aren't... compared to me... because I'm not kind of girl you see yourself being with... Can't you see?

I haven't proven to you that I'm the "real deal" so you skate carefully along the outskirts of my life... my social media ... and you watch my follies, foibles and tumbling down and you judge me... and without you even knowing it... you think yourself above me ... ...because I'm different in your eyes... not the kind of thing you that can integrate... someone who you can incorporate into your life... but of course I'm fragile... more importantly 'intense...' so it's import that you keep me believing that our interaction hasn't changed context ...

So I don't don't do something rash...

emotional or something cloaked in pretense....

So what to with the girl who floats in limbo hoping that you'll one day take her hand ...with you knowing full well you'll replace her someday if you hadn't already had...

© Inure Muse/2018

Inure Me🎙️🤐