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She will never know how I feel.
She will never know how I look at her when she isn't looking.
She will never know why I smile when I see her.
Why when she is around she is all I can look at.
Why I laugh at every joke.
Even though I have heard the one about the moose at least ten times
Why I cut our conversation short from fear of saying something idiotic.
She will never know how fast my heart beats when we talk.
How beautiful she looks through my eyes.
How I wish we were closer.
How I wished we would talk more.
She will never know how I am both happy and sad that she is now with him.
She will never know any of this.
I am afraid.
Not because she will never know,
but because I don’t know.
I don’t know why or how any of this is.
That is what truly frightens me.