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She Will Never Know

A Poem

She will never know how I feel.

She will never know how I look at her when she isn't looking.

She will never know why I smile when I see her.

Why when she is around she is all I can look at.

Why I laugh at every joke.

Even though I have heard the one about the moose at least ten times

Why I cut our conversation short from fear of saying something idiotic.

She will never know how fast my heart beats when we talk.

How beautiful she looks through my eyes.

How I wish we were closer.

How I wished we would talk more.

She will never know how I am both happy and sad that she is now with him.

She will never know any of this.

I am afraid.

Not because she will never know,

but because I don’t know.

I don’t know why or how any of this is.

And that,

That is what truly frightens me.

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