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She Is Alone

Poetry of Sorts

By Jamie DPublished 6 years ago 2 min read
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She's sitting at a table, by herself. A laptop in front of her, headphones plugged into the side. Her eyes wander around the room, following the movement of the people who fill it. Some sit at tables, some are merely walking past but one thing is the same; none of them are alone like she is. They are all smiling and talking and laughing.. And she is just sitting there, a subtle frown on her face as she attempts to hold back tears that have been threatening to break her for what feels like a lifetime. She turns up the volume on her music, desperate to tune the laughter out. Laughter makes her feel envious, and that is something she does not like to feel.

Don't be fooled, it's not that she doesn't like to be alone. She has always been the kind of person who typically chose a book over a party; but she never thought that eventually books are all she would have. She never expected that the friends that she once laughed with and would have died for would turn into strangers who barely return texts, or even send them to begin with.

Being forgotten was never something she feared, because she never thought for a second that her image would fade from her friend's minds. She had always tried to be the best friend that she could possibly be, no matter the inconvenience to her. So many nights she had been woken up to a call on the phone; a friend who needs help, and she was always running to put her shoes on, pajamas still on and hair a mess. She was the kind of person who was too insecure to leave the house without makeup but at the sound of distress from a friend she ran, no thought to herself. Her mind far to occupied with concern. She had though that maybe if she was a good friend, she would never be alone. She thought that she would always have someone to call, even if it was to just vent about her day.

And now she sits alone in a cafeteria. No one to help her as she silently cries out. She wants to scream and throw things, but she knows that if she did no one would understand why. No one has looked close enough at her in a long time, no one can tell that she is broken. She puts on the fakest feeling smile, because she knows that she isn't the only sad person and somehow that makes her feel like she shouldn't be sad; even though she has always been quick to defend the feelings of others. They are yours and they are justified she would say. But to herself she says nothing. Except shut up.

She feels worthless and she feels lifeless and yet her heart still beats even though sometimes she wishes it wouldn't. Some nights she wishes for silence, because at least in silence there is no room for pain.

She prays for rain, but the fire burns on; and she's not sure how much longer she can manage.

sad poetry
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About the Creator

Jamie D

I write about whatever my heart desires

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