Shattered

I've spent a while trying not to

fall for anyone else.

My ex used to tell me

That

I was a lot

And no one could handle my

Anxiety driven self.

To be fair

I am a lot

He actually told the truth

But now I live in constant fear.

And it's hard to overcome

What my gut says to do.

See I fall so fast and no one has ever placed their arms out to catch me.

I find that

They never last long enough to catch me so

I crash.

And I usually just land.

Slowly creating

Little lines

In my soft

Porcelain skin.

So when I start to like someone.

My gut says to run, to

Go a different way .

'Cause I've spend a good

Bit of my life

Just

Watching other people walk away.

I think to myself:

So maybe I should leave

Before I get to be

Too much for you.

Before you start to believe.

That I'm too much to handle

To easy to let go.

Either way it hurts

When you fall

So maybe I should just hide.

And not jump down at all.

Pretend to be someone else.

Without a heart in my chest.

Just

Leave me alone

If you believe it's for the best.

I fear that if I fall,

I'll be shattered into pieces

Scattered on the ground.

I'll be left empty cause they

Knocked my half full glass down.

Fear is what makes me cry

Soaking into my pillow.

My anxiety tells me to run away

Cause no one will be there to catch me.

Alone alone alone

I'll live

But at least I won't get broken.

-shattered