September 23

Sometimes I lay on the floor and take a breath with the mentality that it will be my last.

I fill up my lungs to their absolute capacity, and in that one breath, that one, overwhelming breath which makes my head spin and my chest swell, my life is held.

My memories

My friends

My good days...the bad

My laughs and my tears and the heartaches

That breath contains the smell of my dad's cologne that I would breathe in while enduring one of his many bear hugs.

That breath contains the scent of the Japanese Cherry Blossom lotion that my sister and I would always beg our mom for in the middle of mass because we were bored.

I lay on the floor, and try to get more air in my lungs...but it's not possible.

I hold my breath.

I hold my breath...my life...for five beautiful, excruciating seconds.

And then I breathe out.