Seizure Disorder 780.39

I left class in a hurry, I felt myself

slipping, falling, trembling, convulsing, drowning, dying,

as I sat in the seat. Losing the Feeling: sensations leaving, sensations draining from my body.

Carbon dioxides exists my lungs my fever spikes and my head becomes the

abandoned crew member left to bake in the sea, bake in

the sea and to burn in the raft.

Blood pours from my nose; dripping, crawling, contorting, shouting, crying as

I laid on the couch. Floating away, floating away from my own sight,

my vision dropping into the void, falling into the void.

Last night, I awoke to fear

making me shake making me tense making

me hot making me sweat making me choke making me blind making

me deaf making

me afraid, afraid to give into the pain because I'm scared to die die die die. Dilate and become lost in the nothing. Open and become one with the earthquake inside.

"But will you lose yourself?" I ask, "She's had

these before." My subconscious answers. As a child

I would be sprawled on the bed searching for the answers in my mother's

eyes just as she said: "Everything will be alright."

My mother couldn't hear me

scream, can't hear me yell, please hear me yell, can't even hear me ask because the ability

to speak has been taking from me. The abduction of my mind echoes. The theft of my mind, the seizure echoes, my wails, the violation repeats

I try to ask, "Why? Will I live? Will I die? Do I deserve to live this life?"

I know the answer. I picked, I choose, I decided to have THIS body, to have THIS

experience, to have THIS life. It is mine and I am it. I am my seizure.