Screw You Anxiety

I have this friend.

Let’s be honest, she’s not my friend but another half of me called anxiety.

She’s always there making me second guess my decisions.

“I want some cake” I think to myself.

She whispers snobbishly in my ear, “Do you really think you should eat that cake. You’re already pushing it as it is”.

Not only is she there to tell me she thinks I’m getting fat but she’s there when it comes to relationships

“I love you” he says.

I type out my reply “I love you too.”

I go to press send and just as I’m about to do it she stops me,

“Do you really think he loves you? Do you actually think anyone will ever love someone like you?”

Someone like me?

What’s so bad about me?

It’s like having someone standing right behind you at all times; always walking on your heels and you keep tripping.

Just as you think you’ve got rid of her and your doing good, you’re face first on the cement of life.

I text him, “Hey babe! What’s up?”

“Just hanging out” he says.

“Oh that sounds fun” I type “what are you doing later”

I go to hit send..

“He’s being short with you” I hear.

He could just be normally replying on a normal day but of course there she is making me question if he’s being short with me and if he is why.

Constant self doubt.

Low self-esteem.

Low confidence in myself.

I know if she wasn’t always there half a step behind me I could be great and do great things.

Writing this she’s whispering, “Do you think anyone will actually care what you have to say. Do think anyone will really want to read this.”

Right now it’s like she's sitting right next to me; practically sitting on me and I can’t get away.

Right now I’m fighting her just like I do everyday.

Using all the energy I have to ignore her.

Eventually she’ll get the hint and leave me alone right?

Screw you anxiety.

Send.