Rollercoaster Ride

I’ll always be on this rollercoaster ride

Going up and down never side to side

These pills make me feel like my highs are so high

WOAH

Back down again

How long will it last this time?

My lows may not be as bad as they used to

Although I still use sleep to solve all my issues

I’m no where near the bottom I knew

I’ll forever have this problem

OH SHOOT

Traveling up again

I’m on top of the world

I keep on

go

go

going

So much motivation

Feels like I have control

Lasts longer than usual

I’m finally alive!

Make plans for the future

This ride is mine!

Damn, I thought I felt so fine

Yesterday was so good

What happened?

No warning signs?

Back on a low can’t help but wonder why

Start to cry when I realize that every time I am at this low I’m guaranteed a high

Which seems magical but believe me it’s not

Because every time I’m high and see all the possibilities in world from the horizon line

It’ll stop

Let me enjoy it for a second

Then

D

R

O

P

Drop

Down ridiculous oppression’s possession

I’m far gone

Another depression regression obsession session

I’m left with all these questions

No answers

I just have to accept them

The defeat ridiculed obtainable succession

Nothing I can do but ride with tension

Going with the flow isn’t in my prescription

I just need a tight hold

The bar is too thin

Rips from the cart

OH GOOD GOD

I’m flailing

Don’t start!!!

Don’t drop again!!

The gravity will strangle me

I CANT LET IT WIN

I detangle from my seat

Jump to the next cart in a huge faith leap

Safely under a new bar

Except now I can’t see

When I drop just how far is it?

How deep will I go into it?

AH!

IT CAME SO SUDDENLY

IM NOT READY

I HAD PLANS FOR THIS WEEK

I NEED TO BE STEADY

ENERGY STARTS DRAINING

I keep on forgetting

I never know when I will

and when I won’t

be me