Robbed

"Smile!" "Don't look so mad all the time!"

"You're too pretty to be frowning like that."

This is what you say to me

As I walk past a group of you

Fearing for my life

With every quick, calculated step I take

"Hey, beautiful!" "Why you gotta look so mean?"

Phrases you say to me

In response to the cold, heartless expression

That you caused me to wear

Will they take my smile as an invitation?

An invitation to the party also known as my temple?

"It's your body, do what you want with it," they say

But what do you do with it once someone robs you of it?

I didn't ask for what you did to me that night

As my sleeping body awoke to the scene of an armed robbery

But there were no guns, knives, or masks involved

There was no money stolen, or expensive clothes and jewelry taken

There was no loud cry for help

Followed by the rescue of a heroic law enforcing officer

NO

There was just me

Pantsless, conscious-less, confused and scared

And then there was you

Reassuring me that this is what I'd wanted all along

Thank God you were there

A friend... a trusted FRIEND

Thank God you were there

To confirm, for me, my bodily desires

Thank God you were there

Because without your testosterone-bred intellingence

I may have missed out on what I never knew I needed

Is that it?

Me, a woman, can only function if a man desires me?

My body

Red with anger and striped with fear

Blue with loneliness and doused in hatred

Is only interpreted as your feeding ground

Your lustful eyes too powerful

Too loud, too domineering

Locked in on a target that was clearly off limits

And although conscience should have overtaken your gross desires

"Boys will be boys"

And if they want something, they take it

Did you ever imagine what else you'd be taking?

Sanity, Sanctity

Purity, Wholeness

Peace of mind, Trust

And a whole lot of soul

I still feel you when I close my eyes

I see you in every man who looks in my direction

And I trust no one

Why?

Because I trusted you

I trusted that you were a friend

I trusted that you cared about more than just yourself

And

As I always seem to be

I was wrong

And, as crazy as it sounds, I now have to deal with the darkness you've unleashed

8.20.17