Risking Everything

Don't you see that it's hard for me to fuck you when you make me feel like I can't touch you?

Can't you see that it's hard for me to come to you when you want me to because you make me feel like I'm not supposed to want you?

And if I'm not supposed to want you, then how am I supposed to love you?

If you tell me not to call you or look for you, how can you expect me to miss you or need you?

If I can't talk to you and it's a struggle just to see you, then why would I even want to love you?

I have cried for you night after night, suppressing all my needs, suppressing all my wants.

But it's no longer worth the effort, it's no longer worth the fight.

I feel like it's all just fading away more and more every day.

Our friendship was first we always would say.

And when it's finally gone, please don't look at me and say, why didn't you stay?

By then, I'm afraid, I will be so so far away.

My head and my body are screaming out loud, and filled with this crazy kind of rage.

I can no longer take the pain, my heart can no longer take the strain.

Tears fall from my eyes and onto my legs; they splatter and like blood they permanently stain.

I'm caught up in this rapture and you are totally to blame.

I tried to be patient and do what you said, but it played with my heart and fucked with my head.

Our time as lovers may have filled you with shame, but did you ever stop to think maybe I don't feel the same?

I do know that I am tired and I can no longer play this foolish game.

Yes, we have crossed the line, we have been together much closer than friends.

You talk of regrets, yet I have none.

I hope you realize you can't have both, it's either one.

A line we thought we never would cross.

A friendship spoiled by unbridled lust.

Time is too cynical, to permanent to rewind.

A friend like you again I will never find.

So, please, don't tell me not to call you or not to want to touch you, for I have already taken the fall.

It's all too late for that.

We have risked it all.

You may always find your reason to run.

We didn't think we'd harm anything, we were only having fun.

We started something we know we never should have begun.

We both certainly learned a lesson from this one.

Sometimes falling in love means risking everything.