Risk Averse? Hell No

Economist got it wrong

There aren’t three classes of risk reactions

There are four

Risk loving, risk neutral, risk averse,

Then me!

Risk ALLERGIC!

I am not one to play games

Not here for your inspirational quotes

Words don't fuel the nucleus in my blood cell

HELL NO!

I am not one to take risk

Don’t you dare tell me

“Nothing worthwhile is risk free”

This is my life we are talking about

In an age where, death from a bathroom slip

Has the same probability as being air-bombed in my house.

Don’t talk to me about stocks and diversifying my risk

HELL NO!

My skin would break out in hives

Epipen doesn't have my best interest at heart

Overpriced as the fake money you are all dividing

Don’t talk about skydiving to me

Don’t even mention diving into a pool

I am not gonna be a statistic in your risk pool

Any word starting with "di-"

is

DISASTROUS

Don’t tell me “just do it”

No no no honey

Not with your fist poised to your waist,

Because that isnt the stance of half-dead man

Which is what I'll be if I followed your advice.

Canister talk filled with compressed air

Tested in fire leaves a fatal explosion.

I warned you I was risk allergic

But you didn’t believe.