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Restless

My Response Pt.1

By Sara AnimaPublished 5 years ago 1 min read
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01/28/19

“You need to heal.”

Yeah, but I can barely deal.

I can’t just write it out, pack it up in an envelope and send it off with a seal.

Trust me, I’ve tried it before.

Mellowed out, I won’t take a drink from my cup. You can keep that poison, I’ve already overdosed on life.

Overdosed on the past, overdosed on the anxiety, overdosed on the mistakes, overdosed on the reminiscing so much—I don’t even have the words.

They ask for emotion, heart, and soul.

All I can give is silence.

Once. Twice. You think third time's the charm? I might just kill your patience.

You might just cry the tears I can’t.

Might just yell the words I buried deep in old journals.

“Give me more.”

But I can’t even be more, so how do I pay what I don’t owe?

Tell me I’m in debt, I say bet

I can’t get back the time I gave. Can’t get back the person I was but then again, I don’t want her back. You knew the old me? I advise you keep that version of me with you. Her and I are not the same.

We’ll both take the blame, but we ain’t the same and I’ll say it without a shame. She lacked what I have and I lack what she had.

Entitled to my being, only I can say what my heart beats for and it’s not for your being. Stick to your own, I like to be my own, do my own.

Coldness is comfort. Heard, “I don’t care” left and right so much, now I’ve started preaching it.

Even got me practicing it by my change in actions. Ain’t into revenge but if you think you can find a home within the walls of of my mind, know your stay has been overdue.

Yeah, I know I need to heal but I just can’t deal.

S. D. A

slam poetry
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About the Creator

Sara Anima

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