12 AM: I’m tired, so tired. I lay here staring at the ceiling, at this black-white of nothing. Then soon the moonlight hits the trees causing their shadows to play along with the walls and painting a picture on this white blank canvas. I’m tired. But I can’t sleep. I watch soon after the shadows start twisting into something I can't seem to describe...
1 AM: I’m not feeling good. I close my eyes, for five minutes, take a deep breath. Minutes go by, I’m getting frustrated. Wish I could sleep. I look at the clock. I frown.
2 AM: I’m getting restless. My anxiety is rising. My chest feels heavy. I can’t breathe. I feel like the room is getting smaller. Closing in on me. Open a window. The clock is ticking closer and closer.
3 AM: I start sweating and getting hot, but I won’t leave the safety of my sheets, hiding me from the something that isn’t even there, but I feel it I feel something there over me. I toss and I turn under the sheets, talking to myself. Wishing the time will go faster. Wishing someone can shush me to sleep, hold me. Longing for someone’s arms to wrap around and make me feel safe, protect me from my own mind. I keep telling myself it’s not there, it’s all in my head...
Minutes go by, I poke my head out, I must have done this so many times. I’m telling myself I’m being fucking ridiculous. There is nothing there! But I keep seeing shit, what the fuck is that!? I’m getting even more tired, my mind is draining me, I pass out. I don’t know how long but I know it wasn’t much. I woke up again, it’s still dark out. 4:30? Confused and dazed I get out of my bed, I don’t know what I’m thinking. I walk all over the house, looking for something I don’t even know. I walk back to my room, one foot in and my heart is racing, I’m wide awake...
Please let me sleep! I’m so tired. I just want to sleep. But I keep fighting it like I’m at war. Why? I don’t understand what’s going on. I look at the window I see a faint light coming from the sky. The early morning coming. My heart calms, my anxiety lowers, I’m not hot anymore.
6 AM: I can sleep now...
- Written on Oct 6, 2014
About the Creator
Cassiie Etienne
28 years old. I have been writing for as long as I could remember. For some reason writing was the only way I could express myself when I was younger and it still is one of the best ways I express myself.
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