I'm addicted to the negative thoughts,
As they scream out their presence
Every night in the darkness.
Swallowing up all things positive,
Making everything vanish in front of me,
Becoming all-consuming,
So they're all I see.
But these thoughts,
I've done this to myself
Since I was a child.
Save me from myself
Before it's too late.
But wait.
I don't want it to stop
And I don't want your help.
I'm unpredictable.
Careless.
My thoughts make me unique.
I don't wanna be just like everyone else.
What happens when the pain stops?
When it's gone?
Are we even alive without pain?
Let me drown
Let me remember
The scars on my arms
The scars on my heart
It's all the same.
Stuck in a dystopia,
The whole world is falling under.
Not everyone can be saved
Not everyone wants to be
So when does that line get crossed?
Once the darkness comes
And you fade to black,
You never forget
And happiness is tarnished.
It will never be the same,
As you will forever remember,
And that's the worst part.
You tell yourself you will never forget
And you never do
Because it makes you who you are.
You get addicted to the memories,
The sadness in your heart,
The stresses your body carries,
And if you speak your mind,
The world turns you into an outcast,
And outcasts don't seem to have a place in this world,
But to feed off of each other,
And their negative emotions,
Creating yet another vicious cycle.
The world has nothing to offer you
And you have nothing to offer the world.
They just want to "fix" you
Using their own devices
Prescription pills
Therapy
Hospitals
All it does is numb you
To who you've become
And how you got there.
Just a way to put a label on you
Because you're different
And they don't understand,
So they fear you.
They fear the unknown,
And try to suppress and invalidate you,
But is that healthy?
Do you really learn to cope like that?
Or do you just become desensitized
To your reality?
About the Creator
Ilana Weiss
I am an aspiring writer. I have a little boy is two years old and currently pregnant with my second child. I am 21 years old and I love learning new things. I have an even stronger love for nature.
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