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Push

January 18, 2014

By Jessica DixonPublished 6 years ago 1 min read
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What is wrong with me?

I push…

and I push…

and I push…

when on the inside,

what I am trying to do is draw you closer.

It’s so hard when you’re so far away.

Will less distance make you stay?

Could time make you forget?

I push…

Then I pull.

What is it I am trying to do?

What do I need to do for you?

Or is it me who is undoing?

No matter how soothing you try to be,

there is something unsettling inside of me.

What am I going to have to do to forget,

these bugging thoughts inside my head?

I just want to be the perfect girl,

But it just makes my head whirl.

Talk too much or talk too little.

In the end, he doesn’t care of your imperfections.

So why are you so scared and so insecure?

I guess because I learned to never be sure of something

Everything ends.

He tells you, you don’t have to pretend.

But pretending I’m ok is what I do,

because I don’t to disturb you.

In the end I wonder how much I will push.

and pull,

and stretch,

until I scare you away.

And screw myself over.

Like I always do.

Or will you stay throughout the rain,

and make me comfortable with my imperfections?

And help me cure myself of this disease.

To find out why,

I push when really,

I’m trying to pull.

And I can’t show that I don’t know

what is really going on inside my head.

sad poetry
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About the Creator

Jessica Dixon

"Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on." -Louis L'Amour

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