Prison

In the beginning, I thought I had control

but control is an illusion

My choice is an illusion

And my world is an illusion

My world is a prison

A prison I have created in the darkest depths of my mind.

A physical and emotional place

I can not escape.

My body aches, my mind throbs,

and everything in me tells me to drink

The poison is strong

it consumes my mind, my body, my soul

my days go black, they disappear,

For a while, I am nothing at all

No pain, no hunger, no death

When I wake up

I'm told I am a failure

I am pushed, I am pulled

I am hurt, I am scared

but

I can not escape

It is a never-ending cycle

It is a never-ending battle

It is a prison

and I have the key

But the poison is strong

and my heart was weak

I can not escape

I can not win

I did not want this

I was happy

I was strong

But now

Now I am just a shadow

A shattered shadow

with a shattered heart

in a prison

I can not escape