I woke up this morning with butterflies in my stomach. He texted me asking if I can come over. This would be our first time hanging out alone. I never felt so excited and nervous all at once. We’ve been talking for some time now. I really like him and I’m almost certain he feels the same way.
I get to his house and he says “So what do you wanna do”? I say “Anything you want.” I didn’t realize when I said that what it meant to him. He then began to kiss my lips and then my neck. Next thing I know he’s unbuckling his pants and whispering “I want you” in my ear. I want him back. I’m not sure I want this yet though. But he does and I want him to keep wanting me. How can I say no?
We had sex. I thought it would be okay. I thought I wanted this. I did. But now it just feels so different. I’m laying naked. He’s next to me sleeping. He feels so far. Yet he is so close. I’ve never done this. I know he has. Maybe it feels this way cause it was my first time.
It’s been five days since I lost my virginity. Five long days of silence. He hasn’t texted. He hasn’t called. Maybe he’s just busy. I’m gonna text and ask if he’s okay. “Hey, how are you doing”? No response. He’s probably working.
Eight hours later.
He hasn’t answered me. Did I do something wrong? Is he okay? The possibilities are endless. And I can’t help but think of them all at once.
It’s been two weeks. He never responded. I gave myself to him. A part of me that I was always saving for someone special. Someone who loved me. Someone who at least cared. He never did. He never will. I should’ve known. Why would he like me? Why would he date me? He got what he wanted. And now I’m hurt. He won’t think about it ever again. And I’m hurt...
“Popped Just For You” represents a woman losing her virginity. “Popping her cherry." Giving herself to someone who didn’t wanna give her anything back.
-Alys Del Valle
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