Poems to No One

You promised me you would never leave me.

But what if I asked you to leave, what if I was the one that pushed you away.

Nothing hurts more than realizing someone you love is hurting you.

Maybe they don’t mean it

Maybe they don’t realize they are doing it

But at what point do you get to say enough is enough

When do you stop making up excuses for them

When do you stop saying sorry for standing up for yourself

When do you stop letting him hurt you

My heart aches for the girl I used to be....

the girl who believed

In herself

In her dreams

In love

And who believed in trust.

Right now my heart aches for that girl

Because the woman looking me in the mirror is broken

She is hurt

She has no trust

She has no hope.

I reach out for that girl and hope that somewhere deep inside she’s still there

That’s she not lost

And that everything that’s broken doesn’t have to stay that way

Thank you for being there

You don’t know how much it means

But how much it scares me

I don’t want to get attached

I don’t want to catch feelings

But it’s so easy

When i came home and you wrapped your arms around me

I felt warm

I felt safe

I felt like I was home

And it’s scares me how easy and how comfortable it is

I don’t want to get hurt and i don’t want to hurt you

I love spending time with you

I love having you in my bed

You are comfortable

You feel like home

But it’s too soon

Neither of us are ready

And I’m not about to lose this

So I’ll stick with what we have

Because in the end as long as we have each other than that’s all I need

Tonight my heart aches just like it has the past few nights.....

But tonight is different

It aches for a different reason

It aches for you

For us

For what we could be

For what we should be

For what I want us to be.

I’m scared of losing you and losing what we could have. I want to believe I can open up my heart again. I want to believe that I won’t get hurt.

What if we are two people who are right for each other at the wrong time.

What if we want to try so hard that we mess it up

Last night didn’t go exactly as we thought it would.

I thought it would end in anger sadness and tears.

I thought I would have to say goodbye to you last night

But here we are and you’re still here and there’s still this calm

It feels like the calm before the storm.

The calm before everything falls apart

Before my heart gets broken.

I don’t want you to leave

But I won’t ask you to stay

I want to talk to you

To hold you

To kiss you

To tell you everything is going to be okay

But I know you need your space.

And I know you need time

But just always know I’m here if you need me.

And if you don’t want to be with me like that. Please tell me. I’ll understand.

If you wanna be with her, be with her

I’ll understand.

You’re my friend and I never wanna lose you

Ever