Poem 5

It is all a little tougher than it seems.

You can tell me, “don’t do this.”

It might be easy for you to say, and hard for me to act on.

I am tired of trying to be perfect at times.

In society, I am expected to take a certain role.

I could choose the bad sides that everyone else chooses.

Or, I can choose the good side, that few people are worthy of being in.

But, why can’t I be in the middle?

I just want to be my old self with the happiness the good side has brought me.

But, apparently, it’s not about my happiness anymore.

I am supposed to obey the rules of society.

I feel like a doll with strings that’s pulled one way or the other.

I cannot make my own choice without being looked down on.

I can’t lay in bed without being seen as lazy.

I can’t fall in love without being told I’m too young.

I can’t have too many guy friends without being told they all want me for one thing.

Maybe they’re right, but what else can fill this empty void?

The only people who actually want to be my friends are the people I find around me.

But, even with them, I feel like a mistake.

Things happen in life, and then they worry too much.

I just want to be alone at times.

My mind is all over the place.

My heart has one love at the least.

But, I don’t know what to think.

Can I just sleep a few days without waking up?

They’ll all just pull their doll’s strings, force her to get up.

Push her to do as she must do.

Maja sure she behaves as she is supposed to.

Your doll rebels at times, even though she mustn’t.

There’s nothing that has helped besides the choices she had made on her own.

But will they let her be herself and leave her all alone.

They will not let her go without judging how she wants to be.

So she must hide away, and never show her face again.